Hey Tom Merlett here, former social geek and now big time playa. Ha!… NOT! Seriously, I’m just a guy like you who was never any good at meeting women, but has since taught himself how to get a girlfriend (or two 
with a little help from some of my friends out there selling these so-called ‘pick up artist’ books. I’ve read quite a few of them and I’m going to show you some of the best ones because a lot of them are crap that will just waste your money.
Here’s the bottom line: I’m here to tell you that if you study hard and practice a few easy to learn moves on them (yeah I know, now I sound like your math teacher) it is actually possible to learn how to pick up girls even if you have never even remotely been able to attract girls to you before. It may require some tweaks to your style, your look… but most importantly, you have to change YOUR ATTITUDE.
I say that last part loudly because talking to girls turns out to be WAY more about your attitude than your look, and what’s cool is that you can learn how to fake-it-before-you-make-it when it comes to your attitude in order to bootstrap your courage levels up to the point where they need to be in order to attract a girl. You can do this far easier than say, losing 80 pounds of fat or getting rid of your acne or whatever other physical appearance problem that you feel might be holding you back.
Beginning from any social level, even total nerdy lame-o ZERO, you can go from not being able to talk to a girl to being very successful with women in a short period of time by remembering these 2 very important points:
1) It’s All In Your Head
This is actually the Big Enchilada of everything that I learned when it comes to how to pick up girls: that it’s mainly 90% mental and really only about 10% technique. I had no real understanding of how certain types of thinking issues, namely the unconscious expression of deeply buried shame, were what was behind my problems connecting with women. It wasn’t that I didn’t know all the right things to say or that I wasn’t being aggressive enough at trying to attract girls (or some other sort of failure of TECHNIQUE) it was quite simply that I was unconsciously ASHAMED to be doing anything romantic in the presence of women in the first place!
This knowledge came as a complete and total shock to me. I was completely surprised and stunned by this revelation, and yet the more I thought about it the more sense that it made. I have to thank author Mike Pilinski and his eye-opening book Without Embarrassment (reviewed above) for literally changing my life and turning me 180 degrees around by pointing me towards this very unusual answer which had totally escaped me.
It was such a relief to finally come to understand the nature of this problem that I was having with women — a problem that had almost driven me to the point of insanity! I was just about ready to start pounding my head against the wall in frustration over this thing. Mike’s book turned out to be a life-changing gift. I talk more about him in some other posts on this blog, so please read those over and take note. His ideas about toxic shame are critically important to understand when it comes to talking to women effectively in a way that can eventually get you laid. All the other techniques that he and these other pick up gurus teach rest on the foundation of getting your head straight about these deeply hidden mental issues.
2) You don’t have to be good, you just have to be BOLD.
All life’s spoils go to those strong-willed and fearless enough to reach for the brass ring and take a chance, to take a risk. This goes for the world of attracting women especially, since they reward the bold, take-charge Alpha, and reject the cautious wimpy guy. This type of man (the ‘low status male’) is completely unattractive to girls… period. You must not be this type of guy, and if you are then you have to change your attitude at all costs. Otherwise all your best charm and efforts will fall on deaf ears and cold shoulders.
Also be sure to check out this post I wrote about overcoming fear when it comes to gaming women:
